So who am I?  Just another person who can’t stick to eating healthily?  A random being who has made countless resolutions?  In a word, yes.

Growing up, I was not a chubby kid.  I was extremely thin, a natural state for my body.  My natural diet at that point was cereal, pb&j sandwiches with kool-aid (or salami and mayo) and a t.v. dinner.  Spaghetti-O’s and hot dogs a staple.  However, I was constantly active.  Especially when I started riding horses at age 10.  I was a barn rat, cleaning 15 horses and tacking them up for a lesson stable in exchange for a riding lesson.  My best friends and I would then- after a long day of cleaning up poop, moving jumps that weighed more than we did, lifting 30 lb saddles onto the tallest horses for 12 hours-jump the jumps ourselves, pretending to be horses.  A scarily accurate version of my childhood:

We were a little more successful jumping the jumps on the ponies though!

I continued riding and training through my sophomore year in high school, when I decided I wanted to take a break from all the lessons and boarded with my friends.  Those were the best years, full of great trail rides and adventures.  I also got more involved with outside interests, like going to the mall and hanging out with friends from school.  At this point, I didn’t exactly pack the weight on, but I did go from a rail thin person to having curves.

In my junior year I got a job at TCBY.  This definitely didn’t help matters.  Fro yo for lunch was a common occurrence.  But hey, a banana split with fruit toppings is healthy! All that fruit negates the calories in the fro yo, right? Riiiight.

Anywhoo, I still rode horses and such, but bad eating habits were becoming well established.  I went to community college and packed on the infamous “freshman 15”.  Working retail at the same time usually meant a lot of fast food for lunch and dinner.  Breakfast was usually a Coke.

By the time I finally transferred as a junior to a 4-year college (5 years later) after adventures of living in San Francisco, being in a band as a drummer (had no clue, either!), etc.  I got motivated to become a teacher.  A chemistry teacher.  So between all the lab classes and hours studying, and 30+ hours working (essentially two full time jobs) and spending time with the horses, I didn’t really have time to eat- just usually a giant sandwich at Togo’s for lunch, a delicious hot chocolate from this great little coffee shop for breakfast, and I usually skipped dinner.  The result?  I slimmed way down and looked great.  Then a catastrophe.  I broke my leg riding Will, my green Arabian.  That set me way back.

I joined 24 hour fitness once able to walk without crutches and loved it.  Saved up and got a personal trainer.  However, I was just not able to stay on the meal plan.  Had excuses for everything.  So I got much fitter, but the weight didn’t come off.

Then I met my future husband.  After a year-long long distance relationship, we got married and I moved to Alabama.  Immediately got a job as a fourth grade teacher.  Went back to grad school while teaching to get my teaching degree.  Again, crazy long hours, lots of stress.  One of my horses (Will, the one I rode when I broke my leg) had to be put down because of colic.  I was devastated.

The following summer I started posting videos on Youtube.  Tracking on Sparkpeople.  Got down to 135, my lowest weight in a very long time.  However, I then started my internship for my masters and it all came back.  ARRRRRGHHHH.

So I finally graduated last December, and have been working as a long-term substitute for a 6th grade class.  Stress is starting to slowly wind down, and I am finally finding more time for my horses.  So I am embarking, once again, on this weight loss journey, hopefully my last.  I am slowly learning that the point is to enjoy the journey- not focus on failures, but celebrate successes.  Life is a gift, and I am daring to open it!